From the Blooper Book

We continue to review applications and wonder if these candidates are being completely serious or just being funny.

Have you been convicted of a crime in the past seven years, other than minor traffic violations?

(Checked yes) I was caught stealing in my last job but it was just a big misunderstanding.

While scheduling an occupational health exam: 

Is it ok if I abstain from taking the medical for the job?

While scheduling a drug test:

If my drug test is positive, can I come back in a week’s time to take it again?

Have you been convicted of a crime in the past seven years, other than minor traffic violations?

(Checked no) To what extent are criminal background checks searched?

Have you been convicted of a crime in the past seven years, other than minor traffic violations?

(Checked yes) My parole officer recommended I say yes to this question.

Education listed on an application:

I just put Cornell on my resume so I would get an interview.

Have you been convicted of a crime in the past seven years, other than minor traffic violations?

(Checked yes) The only reason I punched him is because I thought he embarrassed me in front of a client.