From the Blooper Book

This month, we have several more additions to how candidates fill out those applications and résumé, which really makes us wonder, “What were they thinking?”

Achievements listed on resume:

Voted “Most Chivalrous” in class
7^th grade; GPA 34.0
”I received a plague for Salesperson of the Year”.

Experience listed on applications:

Bi-lingual in 3 languages
Saved my workplace from a bomb blast
Repaired bad roads and defective brides
Wrapping gifts at the hospital.

Have you been convicted of a crime in the past seven years, other than minor traffic violations?

(Checked Yes) Illegal possession of a pot.

Reference given by past employer:

He has demonstrated the ability to handle extreme challenges such as Level 543 on Candy Crush.

Education listed on resume:

Bachelorette of Science; “I plan on getting my Master’s degree someday”; “Not much”; and Master of Marital Arts.

Have you been convicted of a crime in the past seven years, other than minor traffic violations?

(Checked yes) Jogging while intoxicated.