From the Blooper Book

We pause for a moment to reflect on the inane, the odd, and the downright silly that we come across in candidates’ job applications:

So you’re saying you’ll work for free…?

What is the minimum base salary or wage you must be offered to accept employment? “Whatever I’m blessed to receive!”

With his handle on cutting-edge technology, our company is sure to succeed!

Please list any special skills you may have which would be helpful in considering your employment: “Windows ’95, Windows ’98, electronic “e-mail”, the world wide web”

“Officer, I’m sure you’ve heard this a hundred times, but she really IS going into labor…”

Have you been convicted of a crime in the past seven years, other than minor traffic violations? (Checked yes)

If yes, describe in full: “Wife was having pregnancy Complication So I went 15 over to hurry to hospital”

Everyone needs a hobby:

Have you been convicted of a crime in the past seven years, other than minor traffic violations? (Checked yes)
If yes, describe in full: “Trespassing while frog gigging”

Clearly, this job left a big impression on you:

Reason for leaving: “I really don’t remember why I left”

Umm… thanks for the info.  Moving on:

Reason for leaving: “Baby Mama Issues”

I’m hoping that this is a grammar issue and not some kind of insurance fraud:

Reason for leaving: “Burnt it down”